Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why Weight Loss Won't Ever Motivate Me

I hate the way I look...

After seeing a picture of myself from a recent party on Facebook I immediately removed the tag from the photo because I absolutely hated the way I look. For years I've done the whole song and dance about how I just don't like pictures or I'd blow off a group photo with the "I'm not photogenic" excuse but for the first time I'm being honest with myself..I don't like seeing my own image. On some level I don't believe the picture, how could I possibly be that big?? I certainly know what the number on the scale reads but wrapping my mind around what that number translates into on my body is a little much. I've been telling myself I'm chubby, fat but shapely or my personal favorite "plump" but no...I'm just plain, old-fashioned fat with not much of a shape.

It sounds harsh but nothing will change unless I stop lying to myself. No more lies!

Simply seeing a lower number on the scale won't ever offer me what I really want:

*I want to like the person I see in my pictures

*I want to walk and not feel my thighs rubbing together

*I want to exercise in public and feel confident

*I want to wear shorts

*I want to put on a swimsuit and not feel ashamed

*I want to jog for more than 10 minutes and not be completely winded

*I want to wear a pair of jeans without my pooch pushing against the zipper

*I want to sit down and not have rolls of belly on my waist

*I want to have energy that last an entire day

*I want to be an example of health and fitness

*I want to be free from my overwhelming desire to overeat and be lazy

*I want to feel empowered

This is why weight loss alone will never motivate me

My goals require endurance training, weight lifting, therapy, meditation, proper sleep and eating habits. Weight loss is simply a byproduct.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Weekly Weight loss Recap 01-29-11

Now that my first goal of working out daily for the month of January is quickly coming to an end and I want to incorporate different benchmarks. As such I'll post weekly my week overview. I still plan to workout at least 5 days a week with no fewer than 10 minutes each day and I'm following along with my other challenges.

So here goes my first recap :)

The Bad

*Missed two work outs this week. My new job is kicking my butt! Some nights I got home and could barely keep my eyes open let alone exercise. I would go straight to bed once I got home and did not wake up until it was time for work the next day. I'm sure skipping dinner isn't good for my energy levels :P I've asked that my hours be changed so I can sleep until 7am (this time just works for me) and I can get a good morning work out in.

*Splurged a little too much on Saturday. The morning went well, lunch was awesome but while was out I passed a fast food restaurant which serves my favorite fries with gravy! I got an order and that was suppose to be it...then I returned home to Papi who surprised me with a dinner date at one of my favorite restaurants 0_o Well I went to dinner and ate reasonably well but was then invited over a cousin's house where they had a huge bowl of ice cream waiting for me! Geesh...there were times when I could have said "no" but I didn't and I still struggle in this area. I could have declined the ice cream, I shouldn't have rewarded myself with fast food and when I had the chance to pass on the juice at dinner I didn't.

I'm still a work in progress..

The Good

*Weighed myself just out of curiosity and I'm down 9lbs from my last known weight at the beginning of January. I probably will not continue to weigh myself but it is cool to know I'm dropping pounds

*FINALLY took my measurement..more on this in the coming months

*Despite skipping out on a couple workouts I have tracked my calories EVERYDAY

*I attended a healthy living workshop and got some great tips on raw food, food combinations, recipes and eating for your blood type. Not sold on the blood type diet but I certainly plan to research it

*I'm still very motivated on my journey to health and fitness. For the first time ever the number on the scale is incidental and I'm purely motivated by my desire to feel better, have more energy and live life to the fullest.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My Good News :)

Although I've been on the fence about choosing to weigh myself I have decided to start taking measurements. Yet, to date, I've done neither. Honestly I felt taking measurements or weighing myself would discourage me in these initial stages and I just can't take the risk. This time around I REALLY want things to be different, in a good way, so I'm trying a different approach-for now.

My approach has been to gauge my weight-loss based on how well my clothes fit. Lately I could tell my thighs looked smaller, my tummy hasn't been as bloated and I have much more energy! Great, I looked at these benefits as "gravy" but no real difference in my clothing. But..there is always a but...I pulled my favorite pair of pants over my hips this morning only to have them...


YYYYEEESSS! You could have knocked me over with a feather..seriously I'm so accustomed to failing when it comes to weight-loss that in my mind, until today, the idea I might actually lose weight was not feasible. As I've stated before, logically I know this makes sense. Expend more calories than I consume..yadda, yadda, yadda...got it. However all I know was not and had not been translating into anything I could feel.

In this case, it's something I can't feel-my pants LOL Ok..I know I'm a dork :P

This thing could be for real :)

Good News!!!

Get ready..this evening the big reveal :)

Monday, January 24, 2011


"It always seems impossible until it's done"

-Nelson Mandela

Its the start of a new week and I find myself needing to "calibrate" my actions with my goals and values. There is no better way in my opinion to do so than affirmations. Affirmations keep me focused and when I recite them daily, give me positive energy that last all day. This is my list for the week.

*My mind is clear, focused and present
*Every choice I'm given I make my health and well-being a priority
*I excel in my job performance and easily exceed corporate goals
*My body remains relaxed and calm throughout the day
*I am consistent in dress, tone, performance and in daily functions
*Each day I love papi to the best of my ability
*I live without rules and only operate in purpose

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Slipping, Falling, Gotta get up...

*photo by Trudi Simmonds*

Earlier in the week I touched on my difficulty balancing my health efforts with my new work responsibilities. I can say I have remained consistent in tracking my calories and working out at least a minimum of 10 minutes per day...but I've gone over my caloric limit twice just in this past week alone. What's worst is I can feel it! At the beginning of the week I felt energized, my face looked slimmer and my clothes just fit better. Now, although I'm still adhering to my plan for the most part, I have this bloated feeling and it shows in my face.

My goal is to do my absolute best to push myself but still have enough patience to know 1.Things aren't going to change instantly and 2.Understand I have started a new job so this in and of itself is a huge stressor simply because of the lifestyle change. Admittedly I'd like to think I have it all together but it scares me when old work habits sneak back in....

Like, COFFEE! Me and coffee have this thing. I can't explain it but having free coffee and flavored creamers at my disposal is not a good thing. In one day I went through 200 calories within an hour from my coffee/creamer combo. Wednesday I skipped breakfast...big NO NO. I was able to withstand the vending machine cravings but I overate at lunch and nearly blew my calorie budget for the day.

This week
I'm arming myself with pre-everything! LOL I'm deep treating my hair as I type this, veggies are cut up and baggied, there is an entire pan of baked chicken cooked and in the fridge, wheat pasta is cooked and tonight I'm making 8 salmon steaks to use during the week. To top it off my gym clothes are out and my work clothes are ironed and hanging in the closet.

I'm trying! Any suggestions?? I'd love to hear what you're doing to help make health and fitness a priority in your busy life.

booty shaking playlist

I love listening to music during the day. Nothing sets the mood better than music and I usually have it playing in the background when I'm cooking, cleaning or doing other things *wink, wink* :) I thought it would be fun to see what other songs you all might listen to in order to get hype for a good walk/run. I have to admit I am in a but of a musical rut so not much I can offer on this one..yet.

My Top 10
1.Jay-Z: On to the next one
2.Nicki Minaj: Moment 4 Life
3.Rihanna: Oh na na
4.Beyonce: Crazy in Love
5.Outkast: Hey ya
6.Jay-Z: I Know
7.Kanye West: New Workout Plan
8.Michael Jackson: PYT
9.Outkast: Bombs over Baghdad
10.Lenny Kravitz: Are you gonna go my way

See what I mean by rut?? LOL This list is showing my age! I hardly ever listen to the radio but I'm sure there has to be some awesome songs by different artist that are banging right now.