Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why Weight Loss Won't Ever Motivate Me

I hate the way I look...

After seeing a picture of myself from a recent party on Facebook I immediately removed the tag from the photo because I absolutely hated the way I look. For years I've done the whole song and dance about how I just don't like pictures or I'd blow off a group photo with the "I'm not photogenic" excuse but for the first time I'm being honest with myself..I don't like seeing my own image. On some level I don't believe the picture, how could I possibly be that big?? I certainly know what the number on the scale reads but wrapping my mind around what that number translates into on my body is a little much. I've been telling myself I'm chubby, fat but shapely or my personal favorite "plump" but no...I'm just plain, old-fashioned fat with not much of a shape.

It sounds harsh but nothing will change unless I stop lying to myself. No more lies!

Simply seeing a lower number on the scale won't ever offer me what I really want:

*I want to like the person I see in my pictures

*I want to walk and not feel my thighs rubbing together

*I want to exercise in public and feel confident

*I want to wear shorts

*I want to put on a swimsuit and not feel ashamed

*I want to jog for more than 10 minutes and not be completely winded

*I want to wear a pair of jeans without my pooch pushing against the zipper

*I want to sit down and not have rolls of belly on my waist

*I want to have energy that last an entire day

*I want to be an example of health and fitness

*I want to be free from my overwhelming desire to overeat and be lazy

*I want to feel empowered

This is why weight loss alone will never motivate me

My goals require endurance training, weight lifting, therapy, meditation, proper sleep and eating habits. Weight loss is simply a byproduct.